This week was one of my bad weeks. Staying up and studying and sleeping super late. On Wednesday I studies until four in the morning. Then cheer stressed me out even more. I felt like I couldn’t get anything. My family never understands me and I decided to just walk away from him. Best thing I could do for now. I chose to forget everything cause’ it hurt. Cheer saved me though(: I love the girls and my boo shariff. We fight sometimes but in the end, JV girls all the way <3 Won our first game ALMOST lost my voice. Next week is the Granada game ! I’m so excited we are going all out. But like UGH idk we are in trouble for something we didn’t even do. Girls are coming over Friday to make posters (: YAY <3 HOPEFULLY things get better.
I have been in and out of hospitals. I am aware of what goes on in there. One day I do wish to work as a pediatrics nurse AFTER I overcome my sensitive stomach and emotional issues xD.But today was different kind of visit to the hospital. My aunt is in there because she has stomach cancer. At first I honestly did not want to go in. I wanted to stay in the car and avoid seeing my family members. My mom said it would be best if I at least went in and showed support to my aunt because she is leaving this world soon. I sucked it up and put my pride down. I saw one of my aunts there and I tried to be polite. In the back of my head I know these people I call “family” mean nothing to me. Well back to my aunt in the hospital. I had this weird knot in my stomach and I was sorta gagging cause this hospital wasn’t the kind of hospital I was used to. I’m used to my little kiddie hospital where I get lollipops after my shots and stickers when I’m done with my appointment. Then I walked into room 447 on the 4th floor. My aunt sitting there helpless and in pain. Her stomach was taken out and now she has only tubes. She is all depressed and I don’t blame her. Our family is a mess and that is why I choose to not talk to them. Seeing her in her condition made me tear. As much as I depised her before for things that were said, it just disappeared. I would LOVE to bring my family back together but what is the point when there is no hope. Everyday I continue my life working hard in school and cheer hoping to have a better family. One day I want to be able to be there to make patients happy and help them get better. I hope my kids won’t ever have a family like this.